Written for Newsworks

Poor Barbara Buono. The only Democrat in the state with the guts to take on Chris Christie has languished for months beneath a media radar that’s begun to turn her obscurity into a campaign narrative.

Sadly, it’s a narrative that’s only going to get worse with a new special election to contend with. Instead of the Aug 13 Democratic primary being a coronation for Newark Mayor Cory Booker, signs point to it being a political dogfight between challengers Rep. Frank Pallone, Rep. Rush Holt and Assembly Speaker Sheila Oliver.

In addition to helping sap away what little coverage Buono’s campaign was receiving, this new special election will feature big-name candidates raising money from liberal donors, buying up TV ads and doing all the other politicking actions that will continue to suffocate Buono under a cloak of obscurity. I wouldn’t be surprised if every single baby in New Jersey were kissed by a Democrat seeking statewide office before Buono even has a chance to moisten her lips.
All this has left Buono’s poll numbers as cold as a microwaveable dinner, and just about as palatable. A new poll from the Stockton Polling Institute shows Buono 40 points down from Christie.

A Quinnipiac University poll says 56 percent of New Jerseyans haven’t even heard of her.

And the icing on this underwhelming cake? A Rutgers Eagleton poll shows eight in 10 Democrats think Christie will win.

Ouch. Remember how hard it was to find Waldo among a crowd of people on those classic “Where’s Waldo” books? Now imagine you weren’t told who Waldo was or what he looked like. That’s Buono’s campaign.

If all that wasn’t bad enough, Democrats seem to be in love with Chris Christie these days. Last week alone, Christie collected the endorsements of prominent Democratic power broker Joseph DiVincenzo, a Democratic state senator Brian Stack and five Democratic mayors. All told, the guy who defunded planned parenthood and rejected raising the minimum wage has collected 26 endorsements from elected Democrats, and has been filmed glad handing everyone on the left from President Barack Obama to former President Bill Clinton. 

There’s the b-roll for the media’s narrative about Buono, whose best media spot was a Hardball segment where the phrase “Dawn Quixote” appeared above her name.

Unfortunately for Buono, it seems Democrats are more interested in fighting among themselves than focusing on taking down Christie. Just last week, the party engaged in a mini-civil war over deciding the new state party chairman. Normally, this decision is given to the party’s gubernatorial candidate, but Buono’s relative weakness as a candidate, and the split in the party between those that want to work with Christie versus those who want to fight him, led to a nasty political battle that ended with Passaic County Democratic Chairman John Currie, a compromise pick, getting the post.

With all this as a backdrop, it’s easy to slam Buono for her low poll numbers, her inability to match Christie’s fundraising prowess and her failed attempts to gain traction. But at the end of the day, she was the only Democrat who had the guts to take on Christie. Sweeney, Codey, even Booker… all chickened out when they looked at Christie’s relative strength at three polls.

But that doesn’t make things any easier for the first female majority leader in the New Jersey State Senate moving forward. Sadly, in a state where registered Democrats outnumber Republicans by 700,000, it’s going to be a struggle for Buono to score respectable finish in this race, much less have any chance of defeating Christie. 

Star-Ledger opinion page editor Tom Moran referred to Chris Christie as “Gov. Godzilla,” and I can’t disagree. Does that make Buono Godzuki, Godzilla’s pint-sized sidekick? 

Unfortunately, no. At least people knew who Godzuki was.

Written for Philly.com

There’s something satisfying about watching a loud-mouth completely melt down under the pressure of a hostile crowd.

Sergio Garcia joins John Daly and Alex Prugh as the only golfers in the last 15 years of the U.S. Open to score a 10 on a single hole, achieving the distinction after fans heckled him over his offensive, semi-racist taunt of Tiger Woods last month. If he keeps that kind of scoring up, the Phillies might be interested in testing him out in their lineup.

In fact, it was such a funny and deserving meltdown to me, I drew it twice:

Written for Newsworks

Here’s a fun game. Find someone wearing one of those yellow “Don’t Tread on Me” t-shirts and start complaining about the quality of Delaware’s roads. I’m sure you’ll hear a mouthful about potholes, uneven payment and complaints about traffic.

Then ask how we should pay to fix it, and watch their head explode.

Such is the problem Gov. Jack Markell finds himself in. Looking for money to fill the depleted transportation trust fund, Markell floated the idea of increasing some taxes and fees to raise more than $80 million. Some of the ideas make me leery, like a 5-cent increase in the gas tax or raising the weekend tolls on Del. 1 from $2 to $2.50. But the repairs need to be made, so we need to find the money somewhere.

So how did some of the state’s politicians react? Predictably, like a bunch of crybabies trying to find their lost rattle.

“Now is not the right time to consider this,” said House Minority Leader Daniel Short. Sen. Dave Lawson followed on Short’s theme, claiming the money “can be had by just searching a bit.” Sen. Colin Bonini also weighed in on the idea of raising the gas tax, trotting out the well-worn line, “My take has been and continues to be, that Delaware does not have a revenue problem, Delaware has a spending problem.”

Notice what all three didn’t do? Come up with a single item they would cut out of the current budget to fund these infrastructure repairs.

It wasn’t only Republicans throwing cold water on Markell’s plan.

“We’d like to put people back to work and we would like to have some of our infrastructure improved. But we’re not shouldering it all,” said House Speaker Pete Schwartzkopf, who is apparently looking for Aladdin’s lamp to wish away the state’s tight financial situation.

The money would go to various road projects throughout the state, and park improvements would include work at Cape Henlopen State Park and Lums Pond State Park. Markell’s plan would also aim to deal with erosion along the Assawoman Canal and replace a dam at Abbott’s Mill Pond.

These are hardly items that I would call “lavish,” so if we’re going to fix them, we need to come up with the money somewhere.

Nobody likes paying taxes, and people hate having fees raised. But it’s put up or shut up time – either lawmakers are willing to sacrifice a bit somewhere in order to get work done in their districts, or the work isn’t important enough to warrant new fees.

Until they decide, no more complaining about the roads.

Written for Newsworks

Rev. Michael Fugee is a New Jersey priest who was put on trial for sexually assaulting a 14-year-old boy, and later confessed to fondling the child while he was under his care… twice.

Fugee was convicted, but that conviction was later overturned by an appeals court. Instead of a retrial, Fugee was allowed to sign a binding agreement not to work with or around children. Unsurprisingly, he was arrested last month after it was revealed he attended weekend youth retreats on behalf of St. Mary’s Parish in Colts Neck.

Now, there’s no indication Fugee engaged in this type of behavior this time around, but what if he did? And what if those victims, traumatized by shame and humiliation, weren’t able to muster the strength to come forward for many years?

Well, they’d be out of luck in New Jersey, and the Catholic Church is spending lots of money to keep it that way.

Currently, the statute of limitations for a victim of child-abuse in the state isn’t ten years or even five years. It’s two years. If abuse victims don’t come forward within two years of their 18th birthday, they’re out of luck, which puts us way out of step with neighboring states. In New York, victims have until they turn 23 to file suit. In Pennsylvania and Connecticut, they have until they’re 30. Delaware doesn’t even have a limit.

State Sen. Joseph Vitale (D-19th) wants to do something about that. He is sponsoring legislation that would extend the window for statute of limitations for sexual abuse victims to 30 years.

“Protect the child molesters” doesn’t appear anywhere in the Bible that I know of, but the New Jersey Catholic Conference seems to be acting like it does, hiring the most expensive and powerful lobbying firm in Trenton, Princeton Public Affairs, to fight against Vitale’s bill

This isn’t a New Jersey-specific issue. The Catholic Church has been active in pushing back proposals that lengthen the time allowed for victims of alleged abuse to come forward. And in addition to New Jersey, high-priced lobbyists have been hired in Colorado and New York to fight similar attempts.

There position isn’t about protecting kids. It isn’t even as much about protecting priests anymore. It’s about money, pure and simple. Since the first instance of child abuse came to light, the Catholic Church has spent $2.5 billion on legal fees, settlements and prevention efforts related to sexual abuse.

We know that it’s not easy for some victims to come forward. Mike Crawford was only 13 when he said his priest fondled him. He wasn’t able to muster the strength to tell anyone until his early adulthood, which made it too late to prosecute. He now heads the New Jersey chapter of the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests, and has been an outspoken advocate of extending the statute of limitations in New Jersey.

It seems to make common sense to anyone that doesn’t wear a frock and molest little kids. By extending the window for victims to come forward, we’d be allowing a judge, not a priest, to look at the evidence, review the relevant facts, and make a judgment as each individual case warrants it

“People deserve their day in court,” Crawford said, and I couldn’t agree more. After all, the Bible calls for the death penalty for child molesters, saying “it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.”

No one is calling for that. All we want is for victims to be heard. Is that too much to ask?

Written for Philly.com

Sisyphus was the king of Ephyra, and according to Greek mythology, he was punished for being deceitful by being condemned to roll a boulder to the top of a mountain, only to watch it roll back down again and again.

Going into last week, it looked like the Phillies might have their best shot at finally pushing that rock over the .500 hump. After all, with three relatively easy series – one against the pitiful Marlins and two against the lowly Brewers, it appeared the best chance the team had of righting the ship and moving up.

They did manage to make it over the .500 mark for the first time all year after a 5-1 victory last week over the lowly Brewers. But they followed that high point by losing five straight games against last place teams, including blowing a late lead Tuesday night against the pitiful Twins, and find themselves in third place and three games under 500.

At some point, I think we have to stop calling the Phillies inconsistent or unlucky and admit the truth: This is a .450 to .500 team that is performing to their talent level. Frankling, they’re lucky to even be hovering near .500, considering they’ve faced one of the easiest schedules in all of baseball, with a strength of schedule ranking 26th out of 30 teams. It’s hard to fathom this team won 102 games just two years ago.

I hear Dennis Green echoing in my head: “They are what we thought they were!”

The only good news on the horizon (aside from Dominic Brown) is the Twins victory moved them up to fourth place in the American League Central, guaranteeing the Phillies won’t lose six straight against last place teams.

If things get any worse for this team, I might have to change my cartoon imagery from Greek mythology to Spanish literature. If you see a cartoon down the road showing Charlie Manuel attacking windmills, you’ll know the team is in real trouble.

Written for WHYY/Newsworks

And the Academy Award for best actor in a leading performance goes to… Chris Christie, governor of New Jersey.

Still think Christie is that refreshing, say-what’s-on-his-mind politician? Just re-watch Christie’s press conference announcing a special election to fill the seat of the late Senator Frank Lautenberg to see a modern day Wizard of Oz, revealed to be nothing more than a self-serving, calculating politician doing what’s best for himself.

“It’s important for the people of New Jersey to have a voice and a choice,” Christie said with a straight face Tuesday. The special election will take place in two parts – a primary on Aug 13, then a general election on October 16, not on November 5, when the general election in New Jersey taxes place. What’s his laughable explanation on holding the special election three weeks before the general election? New Jersey needs a representative “as soon as possible.”

I know you’re thinking, “but he could have appointed a replacement to serve through 2014. Isn’t he hurting his own party?” Yes, he could have, and yes, he is. But that’s his brand. He’s not developed cross-party support in New Jersey, and across the country, by being a party hack. He’s done it by deftly choosing when to buck the Republicans, and when to pursue his own interests.

Christie isn’t dumb. He sees the poll numbers showing the decline of his party. He knows what type of politician voters want to see on the presidential ballot in 2016. If he can survive the buzzsaw of his own backward party’s primaries, he’ll be a formidable candidate for Hillary Clinton or whoever emerges out of the Democratic pack.

But don’t pretend it’s authentic.

In this special election flap, Christie could have easily held the special election on Election Day, but that would have meant having Cory Booker on the same ballot, and potentially driving down the margin of his likely victory over Barbara Buono (as well as hurting down-ballot candidates). That wouldn’t do for Christie, who wants to be able to go into 2016 saying, “I’m a Republican, and I won in a blue state by 20 points.”

What’s worse is having the special election just three weeks before the regular election will cost taxpayers an extra $12 million dollars. How did the budget-cutting Republican respond: “I don’t know what the cost is and I quite frankly don’t care.” This coming from the same governor who rejected minimum-wage increase, tax breaks for low-income residents and eliminated after-school education for poor kids on the basis that the state couldn’t afford it.

Just compare his rhetoric now to what he said back in December of 2009, when specifically asked about what he would do if Frank Lautenberg died while in office:

Chris Christie, 2009: “I don’t think any responsible governor at this point would call for a special election that would cost ten million dollars.”

Chris Christie, 2013: “I don’t know what the cost is and I quite frankly don’t care.”

Does that sound authentic? Of course it doesn’t. It sounds like Chris Christie.

Written for WHYY/Newsworks

In the wake of Hurricane Sandy, I thought beach towns were doing everything they could to try and bring people to their boardwalks, not drive them away with silly bans and personal gripes.

Apparently, that isn’t the case in “no-longer-Wild-wood,” where the mayor and town council have proposed an ordinance that would essentially force beachgoers to pull up their pants while they traipse around the boardwalk.

“If you want to be a Justin Bieber, go do it somewhere else,” Mayor Ernie Troiano Jr. told the Press of Atlantic City, referring to the pop singer millions of people adore. “I’m sick of hearing people complain about the disrespectful individuals who walk around with their butts hanging out.”

The proposed regulation would require the waistband of pants, shorts and bathing suits to be worn no lower than 3 inches below the waist, so no skin or underwear is exposed (referred to in the bill as “below the crest of the ilium”). There’s even language on banning saggy skirts, which I didn’t even know was a problem, considering thongs are still OK.

The ordinance doesn’t stop there. If passed, the ban would force men to wear shirts, but only between 8 p.m. and 5 a.m. It would also force people to wear footwear while walking on the boardwalk. No word yet from nanny state officials if requirements to wear sunblock and drink water are in the works.

So how does the town plan on enforcing this new ordinance? Are meter maids going to be equipped with a ruler, or is the town planning on hiring seasonal “saggy pants enforcers” to crack down on potential lawbreakers? I’m sure the same property owners supposedly complaining to Toriano Jr. now would reverse course as soon as they found out their taxes might have to go up to enforce the ordinance. At least perpetrators would be easy to run down, considering their pants would probably drop to their ankles during any pursuit.

Wildwood isn’t the first beach town to deal with weird clothing issues. Last year, Asbury Park was embroiled in controversy when it tried to enforce a 1958 ordinance restricting swimsuits to the beach in an attempt to reclaim Asbury’s “classy” image. Wildwood technically has a similar rule in place, for people over 12, but they choose not to enforce it.

Wildwood’s Mayor contends that the ordinance is designed to maintain the boardwalk’s classy image and family-friendly appeal. I’m curious why I haven’t heard anything about banning drinking funnels, graphic and obscene t-shirts and the occasional belligerent governor who can’t learn how to handle himself in public on the boardwalk. I’m assuming shops will still be selling “I heart to fart” shirts long after this ban to aid public decorum goes into effect.

If it’s all about projecting an inoffensive image, how long until there is a ban on uncovered tattoos? Men wearing earrings? Mesh t-shirts? Speedos? Yankees hats? The list is endless.

Despite other beach towns and their particular clothing regulations, Wildwood would be the first to outright ban baggy pants. Outside of the Garden State, Teerebone Parish in Southern Louisiana banned baggy pants in April. Their ordinance actually fines some $50 the first time they’re caught exposing a bit of skin or underwear with their baggy pants. It increases to $100 for the second offense, and even forces up to 16 hours of public service for habitual droopy lawbreakers.

Most interesting to me is the plight of North Wildwood, a small town that shares the boardwalk with Wildwood. Wouldn’t you assume if Wildwood is dealing with an epidemic of saggy pants-wearing hooligans, North Wildwood would be overrun as well? Apparently that’s not the case, since the town just recently took a ban on shorts on the boardwalk off the books. Their only crackdown has been on laser pointers, because apparently our leaders can’t just be content with doing nothing.

My advice to Troiano Jr. is to chill. After all, you’re the mayor of one of the most laid-back shore towns on the East Coast! So pop into Capt’n Jacks, crack open a beer (another silly ban the town did away with in 2010) and heed a few words spoken by President Obama on the idea of low-hanging attire:

“Any public official that is worried about sagging pants probably needs to spend some time focusing on real problems.”

Written for Philly.com

Phillies fans have been in love with Cliff Lee from the start, but he really sealed the deal when he turned down a $148 million contract from the Yankees and opted for a smaller contract with the Phillies. In fact, the first time I drew Lee in a cartoon, it featured him being covered with female fan’s panties, Tom Jones style.

Fast-forward to 2013. With the Phillies facing the possibility of a losing season, the rumors swirling around the team’s interest in trading away Lee have resurfaced. Being traded isn’t new for Lee (he’s probably the best pitcher to be traded four times), but I was surprised how cold he viewed the current situation when asked about it on Tuesday night.

“I definitely want to win. I want to be on a winning team,” Lee told CBS Sports. “That should be what it’s all about.”

That seems like a far cry from Lee’s feelings following his return to Philly in 2011, when he said, “I never wanted to leave in the first place.” Maybe Lee’s looking to position himself as the first rat to try and escape a sinking ship. Currently, there are nine teams he can be traded to without his approval, and at some point, it might be worth dealing the 34-year-old lefty to help replenish the team’s barren wasteland of a farm system.

Lee will always be a hero to Phillies fans who remember his complete shutdown of a potent Yankees lineup in Game 1 of the 2009 Wold Series. That was the reason Lee came back to the Phillies – to be part of a team on the upswing with the potential to challenge for a championship every year.

With Halladay out, Ruiz ailing, Utley and Howard banged up, a manager close to the exit door and a streaky but uninspiring offense, the prospect of leaving town might genuinely be appealing to Lee. If the Phillies can’t turn this season around, Ruben Amaro might have to face the prospect of dealing Lee and doing what he didn’t have the guts to do in the offseason – starting the rebuilding process.